Warlocks and NCIS Agents Don't Mix
by TheaterFreak123
Summary: When the team is called to ivestigate a murder in California, it lead them to the Charmed ones as witnesses. There, Tony's long gone past is resurfaced. And I don't own anything relating to the tv shows, except the plot
1. Chapter 1

Today was a particularly slow day for our NCIS crew. Ziva and Tony were reading over McGee's new book, Rock Hollow, relentlessly making snarky comments to McGee. McGee on the other hand was trying to tune them out, while chatting with Abby online. The "boss man" was nowhere to be found.

"Seriously, McGoo! Tommy corners Special Agent Lisa, determined to confess his underlying love!" DiNozzo commented…again.

"For the last time, it's fiction!" McGee said for the billionth time to Tony.

"You better hope so, Elf-Lord." Special Agent Gibbs said, coming up behind Tony, knocking the book right from his hands.

"Although, McGee, I do have to congratulate you," Ziva said with a small smile playing on her face.

"Why?" McGee asked her suspiciously.

"Because you got Tony to read something besides Playboy," Ziva smirked. McGee gave a little laugh, even Gibbs had to smile.

"Ha Ha Ha, very funny Agent _Lisa_. I forgot to mention the part where you dream about Tommy as a knight in shining armor and you a damsel in distress, waiting for Tommy to come and rescue you from your dark secrets." Tony gave his DiNozzo grin.

"Oh, McGee you are so dead!" The Mossad Officer gave Tim a glare that could send him to the grave right here and now.

"Let's kill the geek later, right now we need him for a case," Gibbs broke up the fight. "Dead Marine." The team quickly grabbed their stuff and was in the elevator before Gibbs finished.

"In San Francisco!" Gibbs called. One by one they filed out, a sheepish look on Ziva and McGee's face. They went back to their desks, making plans for their trip, reading over the case. Only Tony seemed out of it at his desk. His face portrayed nervousness, maybe even fear.

"Uh… Boss, what part?" DiNozzo asked in a shaky voice. He just barely made out the name of his old town, so consumed with his own thoughts. Soon all of his thoughts centered around Prue, Piper, and Phoebe. Oh god, what the heck was he suppose to tell them? Maybe he could just lay low during this case.

Without thinking, he whispered longingly, "Prue." McGoo was too absorbed with his work to notice, but Ziva and Gibbs heard. Quickly they shared a look.

"Yes Prue Halliway, one of the witnesses in the murder," Ziva said slowly. "How did you know that?" She noted the closed case file on his desk. Ignoring her question, Tony jolted up.

"Were the other witnesses Phoebe and Piper?" Tony asked nervously. Ziva slowly shook her head yes, curious to know why her partner was acting so strange, especially when he got the opportunity to go to California.

Tony noticed that everyone was giving a look so he lied, "Reminds me of a movie." That seemed to satisfy his team, they went back to doing whatever it is an assassin and a computer nerd do to get ready for a trip.

"Go home, get ready and met me at the airport at 1:00!" Gibbs barked orders to his team.

McGee quickly printed out all of the info on their trip and gave it out to everyone. Then he quickly walked to the elevator, Ziva right behind him. Soon it was only Tony and Gibbs that remained. Gibbs shot Tony a look that to go home. Tony walked out in daze, trying to figure what he was going to do about this

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Finally, after the most uncomfortable 3rd class flight, right between Ziva and this balding guy who wouldn't shut up about the economy, they landed in San Francisco.

"Hey, McDitcher!" Tony called to McGee as they met back up at the terminal.

"Tony I told, I didn't ditch you. The pilot simply recognized me from my books and asked me if I wanted to take the extra seats in first class." McGee stated simply. Ziva and Tony shared a look and rolled their eyes. Gibbs took the opportunity to slap both their heads, then walking ahead, calling back to McGee, "Thanks for giving me one of the extra seats McGee, I owe ya one." With a satisfied smile, Tim feel in step right behind the boss. Ziva and Tony were forced to carry the luggage as they made their way outside to find a cab.

Outside, Tony ran straight into someone, causing him to drop everything.

"Hey, watch where you're going!" Tony shouted angerly at the old man he ran into. The man turned around slowly, reconization flooding his face.

"Brendan! What are you doing here?" Father Austin exclaimed. Tony's face turned bright red as his team members heard this. This wasn't supposed to happen like this.

Before Tony could lie, the Father whispered to him, "We'll have to do some catching up my boy." Quickly the Father left, leaving Tony with a suspicious team to deal with.

"Who was that?" Tim asked while balancing the luggage.

"Some old guy," Tony brushed the subject off, "that must think I'm some one else." With that Tony went to go secure a cab, leaving his team members more confused then ever.

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Once they were in a vab (van/cab), DiNozzo asked the Boss Man where they were going first, hoping to buy some time to at least explain what they have in store.

"We'll drop the bags off at the hotel then go straight to the witness' house." Gibbs explained. Oh, and when he said drop off, he literally meant drop them. They were only at the hotel long enough for Gibbs to bark orders at the bellhops. Then they were on the way.

"Listen, Boss, maybe I should go back to the hotel to make sure our stuff is okay?" DiNozzo suggested.

"Tony, it's a forty-four block walk to the hotel," McGeek pointed out.

"So, I need my exercise!" Tony protested. Ziva laughed and muttered, "You got that right."

"As much as I agree with that DiNozzo, no. You're staying with us, and that's final." Gibbs said forcefully. After that, the car was silent. Gibbs was watching Tony carefully. He seemed to get antsier and antsier as they got closer to their destination.

Finally, Tony got the guts to speak again, "Uh Gibbs, there's something I have to tell-" Tony was cut off by the arrival.

"What?" Gibbs asked.

Tony chickened out, "Never mind." How where you suppose to tell your boss that you are actually a warlock?

The team walked out of the van to the all to familiar for Tony Victorian style house. They just stood there for a few minutes, no one moving, just staring at the door.

Gibbs became agitated, "Tony, what are you waiting, knock." Tony glanced nervously at Gibbs, then the door. Finally, Ziva got fed up with waiting and just knocked on the door.

"See, Tony, was that so hard?" Ziva asked the very worried looking NCIS agent. Tony didn't have time to answer, the door opened and out popped Phoebe.

"Hi you must be NC," she stopped midway as she recognized Tony, "Brendan! What are you doing here?" Her eyes narrowed in suspicion, "with them?" Tony shifted nervously. As he was about to speak, McGee cut in.

"Uh, sorry miss, but this is Special agent Tony DiNozzo," McGee explained to the very gorgeous looking woman.

"No," Phoebe held her ground, "this is" She was cut off by Prue coming behind her.

"Brendan!" Prue exclaimed, holding Tony in a tight embrace.

"Long time no see, Prue," Tony said softly, looking at the confused faces of his team.

Gibbs was baffled, "You two know each other?" Tony nodded his head yes.

"Of course," Phoebe answered him, "he used to be the priest of our church." And for once, Tony was speechless.


	2. Chapter 2

All was quiet for a moment, everyone staring at Tony. Tony squirmed under the microscope.

Phoebe, sensing the passerbys to be staring, suggested, "Won't you come inside, Special Agents and Brendan?" She called Tony separately, refusing to believe he was anything, but a priest, even though he was wearing the NCIS ensemble. Silently, they all filed in the house, keeping their eyes trained on Tony, Prue letting him go to go find Piper.

Once they were all settled in the living room, Phoebe sitting in the chair, Prue and Tony sitting in the loveseat, Piper standing behind Phoebe, and the NCIS agents sitting on the couch, McGee was about to break the silence, planning on turning their attention back to the case and dealing with Tony later. Instead he let out a soft chuckle, entertained by the thought of DiNozzo being a priest.

Who would think a small chuckle could start such a big chain reaction? As soon as McGee started laughing, Ziva joined in, and finally, Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs contributed to the storm. Soon, the team, minus Tony, was all howling in laughter, like each was given twenty-five containers of laughing gas. They were holding their stomachs, tears brimming their eyes.

Finally, after a while the tears stopped and the laughter subsided into light chuckles. The sisters exchanged sideways glances, eying the agents. Tony basically looked like he wanted to disappear.

McGee cleared his throat, "Okay now we know you guys have got the wrong guy? Maybe you three have met him somewhere else?" He offered. Tim was met with silence from the older man.

"Tony, tell them," McGee insisted, then more desperately, "Tell them!" Tony squirmed under his partner's tone. And having the Gibb's Glare glaring at you isn't helping matters.

Tony weighed his options:

Tell Gibbs the truth and risk being admitted into the wacky shack

Lie to Gibbs, which is almost impossible.

Not lie, but avoid the truth.

Well, option three could work. Just give one word answers, no detail.

"No," Tony said firmly to McGee, gave him a confused look.

"So you are really Brendan?" Phoebe asked skeptically, after all you don't just forget someone who is a warlock that _almost _killed someone.

"Yes," Tony answered.

Ziva face filled up with puzzlement, "So you are not Tony DiNozzo?"

"No, I'm still Tony," DiNozzo answered plainly. Gibbs looked like he was about to rip his throat out, Tony winced when he saw his reaction.

"Excuse us," Gibbs told the girls. This he growled at Tony, "Let's go DiNozzo!"

Tony gulped and had a pained expression on his face, but followed Gibbs to the kitchen.

Once they were alone, Gibbs demanded to Tony, "What the heck do you think you're doing!"

He gave his boss a sheepish look, "Answering questions." That answer didn't suit Gibbs because he slapped him on the back of his head and growled at the younger agent.

"Listen, did you really think that method was going to work? You've seen and done numerous interrogations were the suspects try to use this bull crap. And you know how they turn out, don't you?" At this DiNozzo gulped. "So you get out there and you better start clearing things up!"

"Can I…um…talk to the girls first?" Tony asked, having to check and see how much about this "life" he can reveal to his team.

"Fine," Gibbs said, shooting him daggers as he walked past to join the group. "But remember, I know when you're lying to me."

Meanwhile, in the living room, there was an awkward silence. McGee was reviewing the case file on his iPod, Ziva was fingering her gun, Piper was making a mental note to call Leo about this, Prue was looking at the door, as if it had the answer to everything on it, and lastly, Phoebe was staring intently at McGee, trying to place him.

All of a sudden, the silence was broken was Phoebe found a match for the cute agent, "You're Thom E. Gemcity, the author!"

Figuring Boss wouldn't want anymore complications to the case, he quickly answered, "No, no, you must be thinking of someone else." He saw her face fall.

"Oh, because he's like my favorite author ever! I mean he's such a genius," Phoebe blurted out.

McGee, taking this as a chance to get a very pretty girl, preying Gibbs would understand, went into full "Thom E. Gemcity Mode", " Well, I heard many compliments, but this is the first I've been called a genius." Okay well, that wasn't a total lie. Timothy McGee has been announced genius, but Thom Gemcity hasn't.

"But I thought you weren't the author?" Phoebe taunted, knowing very well that he was, indeed, Thom E. Gemcity. McGee fiddled around with his iPod for a bit until he found what he was looking for.

"I think this looks an awful lot like me, don't you," he asked her, showing the witch an article about his book, complete with a picture of him. "And, if I remember correctly, I'm a genius so I can't be wrong." McGee then walked over to the woman and whispered, "Unless it was my evil twin." She giggled and they walked back to couch, taking Gibbs's seat, talking about his writing.

Ziva was completely taken back with her shy, stuttering, computer geek's new personality. _Looks like Tony isn't the only one with a hidden personality._ Ziva thought as she chuckled softly.

At that moment, Tony walked back in, head hung low, followed by the intimidating Gibbs.

When Gibbs noticed his seat was taken, he barked, "McGee!"

Back to his geek-mode, "Sorry Boss," he then whispered something to the witch and she went back to her seat.

DiNozzo, just being DiNozzo, had to comment, "Probie, you better watch out with Phoebe, she's a real witch sometimes." With that he added a wink. McGee rolled his eyes at Tony's poor attempt to make a joke, while Phoebe gave him a death glare.

"Um, well, McPlayer you're going to have to do without your girl for a little while, you think you can handle that? And don't worry; I got my heart set on another one." His gaze shifted to Prue, who was looking very angry with him at the moment. There was an awkward pause for a couple seconds, which thankfully Piper filled.

"Let's talk in the attic," Piper suggests seriously and started walking up the stairs. Prue and Phoebe followed.

Tony finally descended up the stairs looking back at his team, wondering how he would ever be able to explain this to his friends.


	3. Chapter 3

They silently lead Tony through the house, up more stairs and finally to the old worn door. Silently it creaked open and they all filed inside the room.

Once in there, they all stood in position blocking all the exits, as if they expected him to try and jump out of the windows.

For a couple seconds they were all just staring at each other until Phoebe got fed up with the silence and said irritably, "Okay, let me get this straight, you become a priest, you leave on a "retreat" and then show up some years later as Tony DiNozzo, a federal agent? And now you're just standing here staring at me, no explanation?" Phoebe's rant pretty much summed up the emotions and questions showing bluntly on her other sisters' faces.

Tony helplessly looked between them, then held his hands up, sighed, and gave in, "Okay, well, the truth?"

"That would be helpful," Piper said sarcastically.

Tony took a deep breath and began his story, "Well, I did go to that retreat thing, so not everything was a lie," He just had to point out. Prue rolled her eyes and motioned for him to get on with it.

DiNozzo continued, "Anyway, there a Wise One came to me and-"

He was cut off by Prue, who asked in confusion, "Wise One?"

Tony sighed, "I was getting to that. They're like blessed souls. These "souls" each posses the knowledge of important magical topics. They sort of float around, if you will, then attach themselves to humans of great spiritualization, when they seek a human or magical being in need." DiNozzo switching to Brendan mode stated. The girls all felt relieved, seeing their friend was not completely gone.

"Anyway, one of the Wise Ones attached themselves to the head priest and sought me out. She told me to dig deep into my soul and see her tomorrow. I know, totally cliché right? Anyway so I did all that spiritual stuff and realized that I didn't want to live my life like that. So I met up with her and she told me how I could fix it. Next thing I know she was doing a weird chant and merged my two personalities together to make Tony DiNozzo. But I still kept my warlocky powers. Then I convinced some dude I was his son, I became a cop, I went to NCIS, yadda yadda yadda, minor details, and now I'm here explaining my whole life to you guys." Finally he stopped his "speech" to look at the reactions of his old friends.

Basically, they were all blown away to learn of all this new magic and Brendan's new life.

When they didn't speak, Tony joked, "Hey, do I need to draw you a picture?"

Piper just sadly shook her head, it's obvious that his story is true and sweet caring Brendan turned into a sarcastic self-centered jerk.

"Well," Phoebe said to her sisters, "at least we have someone on the magical side."

"Yeah," Prue snorted. "Now we won't be committed, but Brendan might." The girls cracked up.

"Tony," Tony corrected, "or you could call me DiNozzo, Very special agent DiNozzo, or the man of your dreams."

Phoebe rolled her eyes, and muttered, "Or ba-"

She got cut off by DiNozzo, " Yeah yeah, anyway, what's this about me going to the wacky shack?"

"Um, that guy that got murdered got murdered by a demon." Piper stated.

"Oh this day keeps on getting better and better," DiNozzo said sarcastically. "What kind of demon?" (His curiosity got the best of him) Phoebe went over to the ancient dusty book and read aloud from the marked page.

"A Shadow Demon. They feed on juicy and well kept secrets. They hide in the shadows of their victims, and then at midnight, when the victim is ready, he freezes their veins and drinks up their minds. Then they slit their throats to make it look like a normal murder."

"Gross, how do you know who the victims are?" Tony asked, shuddering.

"They become more closed and depressed, until they stop interacting at all." Phoebe read once again.

Tony mulled it over for a minute, before he got panicky, "What about us? I mean we have some pretty good secrets, right?"

"But they can only target mortals," Phoebe finally finished.

"Well, we're fine then I guess. Now _you_ have to focus on finding the demon, problem solved," Tony concluded as he turned to leave, but Piper locked it using her powers.

"Not so fast. What are we going to tell your boss about why we were there?" Prue asked.

"Dang, well, as always, I will come up with a brilliant plan. Okay so let's start brainstorming," Tony said giving his DiNozzo smile. They all sighed and agreed.

"Okay, now here's the plan…"

Meanwhile, downstairs, the NCIS gang was dead silent, as they all were lost in their own thoughts. A cell phone ring broke the consuming silence.

"Gibbs"

"Hey Gibbs!" Abby's voice answered.

"What do you want?" Gibbs asked in a why-are-you-calling-me-now-can't-you-see-that-I'm-busy voice.

"Wow, somebody is a little grouchy today. Anyway, when can I know if I can come down?"

"Abby" Gibbs tried, but got cut off by Abby's rambling.

"'Cause I got to pack and book a flight and stuff. But I really hope I can come because I've always wanted to come to San Francisco, but never got the chance. I do come will there be time for sight seeing or is it totally work, 'cause I totally understand but it would be really awesome to"

"Abby," Gibbs tried again, but it was no use.

"But then again if I don't get to come that would suck so I guess working all the time wouldn't be bad if I"

"Abby!" Gibbs roared, putting a stop to her rambles, "They called McGee on the plane, you can come and use their lab. And tell Ducky and Palmer to get their butts down here, they can use the police autopsy room."

"Cool, see you guys in a couple hours!" Abby squealed. "Can I talk McGee?"

Gibbs handed the phone to McGee and they had a conversation in geek-speak. Gibbs and Ziva just tuned out the one way conversation, returning to their own thoughts.

About a half an hour later, Tony and the girls descended the stairs, Tony in lead. Just before they were about to join the party in the room, Tony whispered to the girls.

"Showtime."


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey, sorry it took so long for me to update! This isn't the best chapter in the world so bear with me. Thanks to all of the reviewers!**

"Okay, so here's the truth," Tony started, everything going according to plan. At first they walked into the room, immediately shushing any conversation going on, which there wasn't. Then Tony made some insulting remark to McGee and quoted a movie, normal behavior. Next the girls started whispering, part of the plan. Gibbs immediately silencing them, with his one of a kind Gibbs stare. They then immediately shut up and Tony started explaining, bringing us to now.

"Before I want to Baltimore to be a cop, I worked here. Then I got an undercover op to bring down these two evil warlocks-" Tony stopped and glanced at the girls, one slip up. Prue just raised her eyebrows and sent him the message; _you made the mistake, now you fix it._

"Um, warlocks?" McGee asked quizzically.

"Yeah, McGoo, Greg and Paul WarLoky, they were a duo of killers. Sorry, slip of tongue before." Tony braced himself for their reactions. And… they bought it. The Halliways sighed with relief.

"Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted by McKnow-It-All, I was talking about my old job. So I had to go undercover as their long-lost brother," he paused; this part was a little far fetched, so DiNozzo wasn't sure if Gibbs was buying it. So far, he had his interrogation/no emotions mask on, so there was no way to know, just continue and pray for the best.

"So, they were trying to turn "me" over to their side, and-"

This time it was Ziva who interrupted this time, "Why would they need their brother to help them kill people?"

"Uh, it was the family business, passed on by generation to generation." Phoebe jumped in before Tony could answer.

"And you would know this why?" Gibbs asked skeptically.

"Because Brendan told us when we saved him getting killed by his brothers." Phoebe held her place.

"And how did you save him?" The older man asked, as if he was interrogating them.

Since you can't really tell him that Piper "picked them up and threw them across the room", Phoebe went with the next best thing, "I know martial arts," then glanced at McGee, "black belt."

The youngest agent nodded in appreciation, "Impressive."

DiNozzo felt a twinge of …, knowing he taught Probie well, and then continued his story, "So I only told them so much in order for them to help me, so finally I busted them, we got into a fight and I ended up killing both of them with a knife. Inn order to keep up the charade, I became a priest, so to speak, went on a spiritual retreat and went to work in Baltimore. And, well, you know the rest." He drew a breath, and exchanged looks with the witches. They all held their breaths waiting for Gibbs's reaction.

As always his face was a mask, showing no emotion towards the subject. Finally, after what seemed like a millennium, the team leader, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, spoke, "Alright now that all of this over can we get back to the case." It wasn't a question. McGee and Ziva looked convinced and really didn't want to suffer Gibbs's wrath so they got back in work mode.

Meanwhile, Tony, Phoebe, Piper, and Prue finally let out the breath they were holding. Nodding to each, silently reminding each other that their performance wasn't done yet, they made their way back to their seats, though this time Tony went to the couch to join the rest of his colleges while Prue and Piper shared the loveseat.

McGee announced to the gang, "Ducky, Palmer, and Abby's plane is leaving at" he glanced at his watch, "five-thirty, about 15 minutes, so they should be here around nine."

"Who's Abby?" Phoebe asked suspiciously, then remembering the other two, "and Ducky and Palmer."

Tony was about to embarrass McGee in front of his new love when Ziva jumped in, saving the day.

"She's our forensic scientist. Ducky is the M. E. and Palmer is his assistant." Ziva shot Tony a look that said _don't mess this up for McGee, remember I know eight ways how to kill with a paperclip._ Tony rolled his eyes and mentally said back, _Come on, let's have a little fun. _Gibbs witnessed this little exchange and brought them back to the case with a head slap.

"Um…" Piper started unsure of what to say.

"Don't worry, perfectly normal," Probie reassured her, causing her even more confusion.

"Anyway," Ziva cleared her throat trying to get back to topic, "How did you know Petty Officer Michaels?"

Piper was quick to answer, "He and I were together. We met at our club, P3, a couple weeks ago."

"What was he like?" The question was one they had not expected to come from the Mossad agent.

"He was fun in the beginning; you know always made you smile, but then he got really closed like he was hiding a secret."

Phoebe shot Piper a pointed look that didn't go unnoticed.

"Care too explain?" Tony asked for all of them.

"He wasn't just 'closed' he was like oyster clammed shut. Well, I guess I can understand why, but seriously his mouth was glued shut!"

DiNozzo nodded in praise at Phoebe, that really was a nice touch.

"And why was that?" Ziva prompted.

Piper took a deep breath, "He was the mole." The agents looked stunned. McGee was the first to recover.

"He was the mole that was in the government for months?" He was shocked.

"And how would you know that?" Gibbs asked, eyeing them coolly.

Prue jumped in, "we followed him one night!"

Piper quickly clarified, "It was our first month anniversary, but he cancelled. Phoebe thought he was seeing another woman-"

Phoebe muttered, "Boy was I wrong." DiNozzo smiled, boy they were really milking it.

"Anyway, he apparently was meeting up with his contact for the fist time. Everything was digital, they didn't know who each other was."

Gibbs interrupted, "And you would know this how?" Meanwhile, DiNozzo, Ziva, and McGee were scribbling away on the notepads.

Prue looked sheepish, "Um, well I sorta convinced a friend of mine to look into his emails."

"Aw, a hacker, well we don't react very fondly to hackers, McGee said, glancing at Phoebe. Tony, Gibbs, and Agent David had to stifle a laugh. McGee was really laying on the charm to this girl.

"I know, I told them not to!" Phoebe looked at McGee like he was some kind of god.

"So, yeah, we followed him, this happened, and we called the police. End of story." Piper said, hoping to end the conversation.

"Well, you don't seem upset about it." Gibbs pointed out bluntly.

"After a while you get used to it." Prue stated truthfully, earning odd looks from everyone. Suddenly, remembering her cover, squeaked, "Crime shows! What I mean is we love crime shows."

"And," Piper added, shooting Prue a dirty look, "we don't really have a lot of family so we're used to this kind of stuff." That answer went over much better with the NCIS agents.

"Well," Gibbs stood up, "I think that's enough for one day. We'll call you in the morning." Gibbs walked to the door, followed loyally by Ziva, while the other two love struck puppies lingered behind.

Piper, looking at the pleading faces of her sisters, called to Gibbs and Ziva, "We own a night club and we were just on our way to open it. Would you enjoy coming?"

"Yes," Tony answered automatically for the group, earning a head slap from the re-enter boss.

Before Gibbs could say anything, Ziva jumped in, "So it's settled then. We will join you."

Silently, McGee cursed under his breath, "Sorry no can do. I promised I'd meet Abby at the airport."

Phoebe quickly thought of a solution, "You still have a some time. Let's grab a bite to eat first." McGee offered Phoebe his arm, which she laughed and took. The two lovebirds made their way out of the house to Phoebe's car.

Prue, noticing their attire, said, "Um… well we have to go change," and eying Ziva's outfit, added. "Officer David, I think I might have something that'll fit." Piper and Prue then dragged a very startled Ziva up the stairs, thought didn't miss Tony's sigh of relief. The Halliwells's and Tony were thinking the same thing, "We did it." Bu they had tot remind themselves, this wasn't over. In fact it was far from over.


	5. Chapter 5

"Soooooo where would you like to go, Special Agent McGee?" Phoebe said, using his full agent status, causing him to grin.

"No need to be so formal, Miss Halliwell," McGee answered teasingly, glancing at the girl driving, "here in private, call me Tim, and in public, call me Mr. Gemcity."

Phoebe laughed, "I can see you are a very modest person."

McGee nodded with mock sincerity, "That I am, that I am." Phoebe rolled her eyes and Tim stuck his tongue out at her, causing giggles to erupt from both of them.

McGee, regaining his mature composter, asked, "Okay, so what's good around here? And I suggest you hurry up and pick, 'cause I'm starving." On cue, his stomach growled. McGee then pointed to his stomach for emphasis.

"You like pizza?" Phoebe asked, grinning.

For a second, McGee looked unsure, "I don't know."

Phoebe looked confused, taking her eyes off the road for a second to look at him, "What? Are you telling me you have never eaten pizza?" At this question, McGee turned red and started stuttering, "No-I mean-yeah I have have-its just-well…" Thank god his phone rang, saving him from that awkward_ I-have-been-trying-to-lose-weight-so-I-cut-back-on-some-things_ talk. Tony had been bugging him forever, saying he was fine and pizza wouldn't kill him, but still McGoo would not budge. The team had looked at him sympathetically, trying to convince him that a slice now and then wouldn't hurt and he was getting too thin, but Tim just took it at them worrying way too much for the young agent. Over protective siblings can get annoying. But he hadn't even come close to stepping in a pizza parlor in a year, so how was he suppose to know if his body even likes it anymore?

Anyway McGee shot Phoebe a _sorry-I-got-to-take-this _look. In return, Phoebe shot him the _this-conversation-is-so-not-over _glare. Sighing, knowing this will be a very awkward conversation with someone he knew for what, _two hours?_ McGee flipped open his phone and answered, "MahGee," in the way Gibbs always says his name.

"Hey Probie! You sound more and more like Bossman everyday!" Tony answered, and Tim could practically hear his goofy grin.

"What do you want Tony?" McGee said warily, and Phoebe perked up at his name being mentioned, something that did not go unnoticed by the man sitting in the car next to her. McGee looked at her quizzically, but she choose to ignore him, and focus on finding the perfect pizza place instead. Filing that in his mind, McGee was determined to ask later, right now though, he has to put up with his annoying "older brother."

"You don't sound very happy, McGrumpy? Is it because I'm interrupting your little 'date'?" DiNozzo taunted.

McGee rolled his eyes, "It's not a date." Then remembering the driver, he glanced nervously at her, "Unless you want it to be a date?"

Phoebe smiled and nodded her head, "I'd like to think of it as a date." McGee smiled warmly at her and mouthed, "me too."

"Uh, McGoo, Very Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo on the phone! Stop gazing at your woman and pay attention to me!" McGee heard Tony whine on the other line, reminding him that there were other people on the planet.

"No Tony, I'm here. Now, for the last time, what do you want?" Seriously, he actually was starting to get annoyed that Tony was "interrupting his date".

"McGoo, I'm hurt. You sound like you don't want to talk to me." Tony mocked hurt. As he was met by silence on the other line, he decided to continue. "I just wanted to lay the ground rules for you crazy kids. You youngins are too wild these days. Put it on speaker phone." DiNozzo ordered.

McGee rolled his eyes, "Sure thing, _Dad_." Even with his sarcastic tone, McGee obeyed, signaling to Phoebe that it was on speaker.

"Now, I'm not even going to pretend like that didn't hurt." Tony pouted, until it sounded like her was elbowed in the ribs, followed by a "Ow! Ziva! What was that for?"

McGee and Phoebe exchanged glances and giggled. They were then yelled at by the phone, "Hey lovebirds! I heard that!" and then apparently Tony's phone was on speaker too, because Ziva started talking, along with DiNozzo.

"McGee! Have you 'made a goal' yet?" Ziva asked, clearly messing up her idioms…again. McGee's face turned beet red and yelled, "Ziva!" only to be covered up by DiNozzo's cackling.

"No, he hasn't 'scored' yet." Phoebe answered for McGee, smiling at him.

"Well, I was merely curious." Ziva answered, probably talking to DiNozzo.

"Anyway," McGee said loudly, taking hold of the conversation, "can you guys hurry up here, we are kind of hungry."

"I merely wanted to ask the girl some questions." Ziva said simply.

"Ziva," McGee warned the ex-Mossad officer.

"Relax McGee; I just want to make sure she won't kill you." At this Phoebe laughed, only to be cut off by DiNozzo's voice on the phone.

"She's serious." DiNozzo said, suddenly serious. Upon hearing this, Phoebe glanced nervously at McGee, who mouthed, "Sorry," for this awkward conversation.

"Will you try and kill him?" Ziva then asked, like she was talking about the weather.

"No, I promise." Phoebe said sincerely.

"Will you steal from him in anyway?" This time it was DiNozzo asking this, even though he completely trusted her, but come on! This was HIS Probie.

"No," McGee answered, "That won't happen again, trust me." Phoebe looked at him weirdly, with a dash of concern in her eyes. McGee saw it and mouthed, "Tell you about it later."

"You were, in any way, paid by Tony?" Ziva was the one interrogating again.

"Ziva!" Tony shouted, clearly surprised that she was asking that. Tim could practically see Ziva smirk as she said, "I will take that as a no, then."

"Does anyone know you are a witness? Anyone that will potentially hurt you?" The question was directed to Phoebe.

Before she could answer, McGee looked at the phone in shock, "Ziva, why would you ask that? The other two I understand, but this?"

Ziva then spoke softly into the phone, "I just do not want what happened to Erin happen again."

"Wait-who told you—DiNozzo!" McGee yelled at the phone, as Phoebe was trying to find a parking spot, as they just reached their destination.

"Sorry McGee, she had a paper clip." DiNozzo said sheepishly.

Tim, seeing that they were parked, said to the phone, "Sorry guys, but we're going to grab some pizza." And Phoebe added a "Chow"

However, before McGee got a chance to hang up, they both heard the two other agents reactions, "Huh?" They both managed to sound dumbfounded at the same time.

Smirking at each other, they got out of the car and McGee casually threw his arm around her shoulder as they entered, "Sorry about that. Overprotective teammates plus a crappy love life equals no good for anyone. But I don't think you'll complicate the equation anymore" He smiled reassuringly at her and Phoebe returned the smile, though she was guiltily thinking, _Oh boy, are you wrong._ To cover up her guilt, she smiled wide and slid into a booth.

"Come join me, Mr. Gemcity." She said seductively, as a goofy grin spread on Tim's face.


End file.
